Adolescent Mental Health: A Mother’s Perspective

We migrated from China to Aotearoa 20 years ago and we have lived in Auckland since then. We are an average Asian family.

In 2021, my 15 years old daughter S could not get up to go to school and she was sleeping up to 20 hours in a day. Her GP advised some medicine, but we rejected it several times. At the same time, we monitored the pattern and found out she experienced this excessive sleeping during her period. Her GP prescribed some medicine for this. However, the medication caused severe side effects including crying and low mood. We were so worried and confused.

Early in 2022, my daughter started a part time job while experiencing sleepiness. She still could not go to school around her period time. She was referred to see a mental health doctor by her new GP. The medicine this time helped her, but she relapsed after an Easter party where she drank some alcohol. This led to her emotions becoming more intense and she could not sleep for several days and did not eat anything. Eventually, she has some row with me, and police involved. Police took her to hospital and Oranga Tamariki has been contacted. The professional thinks I abused my daughter. I was so shameful and worried at that time and my mental health is also affected. I don’t know why this happened to me and my family. I am lost.

My daughter was admitted to hospital, where she was given a range of medications, but it did not work. When she left hospital, she was still in difficulty. Meanwhile, we were contacted by different mental health professionals. Aftera conversation with me and my daughter, the psychiatrist in Kari Centre suggested talk therapy and ending anti-depression medication. A nurse also took my daughter out to chat over coffee. These catch-ups were very helpful towards her recovery.

As a mother, I too have been supported bya Chinese social worker from Asian Support Service (Kahui Tu Kaha), who shares thesame language and culture. She listens to my frustration and worry, and confusion too. Shesupported me in communicating with various health professionals including Oranga Tamariki and better understanding New Zealand healthand social service system.

In 2023, my daughter turned 18 years old, and she is in a better place now. She has part-time work while studying at Auckland University. From 15 to 18, she experienced immense emotional change, low or high. We still don’tknow if it is normal for an adolescent. We try tofocus on how to deal with the problem.

When reviewing the journey, I learnt a lotas a mother. First, do not hesitate to seek professional help for mental health (seeking a second opinion is also important). Second, keep an open mind to learn and grow up with our children in a different culture. Lastly, the support from health service providers with culturally and linguistically appropriate services play a vital role in our recovery journey.